Torturing Nurse.

The China noise scene seriously getting its act together these days - always had a soft spot for Torturing Nurse - lets face it any time you combine nurses uniforms and head-crunching slabs of sound - you can't fail to please... seems with the latest slab of videos from recent perfomance in Beijing - they have somewhat upped-the-old-ante... dispensing with any traditional family values that might have littered earlier performances - and allowing afore-mentioned nurse to dispense somewhat unorthodox treatment to what can only be described as a tied and willing patient - it makes for interesting viewing - and somewhat raucous listening ...



If this sort of thing makes you feel like more - then best get your prescriptions directly from the source... or the ever excellent Noise Shanghai site...



For those of you who find the whole dripping wax on face type of behavior a tad harrowing - here is a more family-friendly TN performance from way back in 2004 - for you younger and more sheltered readers out there - because I care ....!!

the idiocy of idears

Been meaning to post this one for ages - probably all copies have already been grabbed - but for those of you in the Yeovil area - hop on down to Waterstones and see if you can find a copy in the Poetry, Art, or Philosophy sections - stick it under your jacket - and if stopped and searched - tell them the Farmer sent you !

FREE BOOK, NO ISBN, NO BARCODE, NO AUTHOR

the idiocy of idears

“a skool boys tail being the unremarkable adventures of gustov claudius, skool boy and dyslexic. Including his own essays, observations, and judgements. Also including an account of his travels among the islands of homer and the greeks. ritten by himself-“

Apparently written by the backward schoolboy Gustav Claudius. ‘The Idiocy of Idears’ is a book of pathos, sarcasm and great charm. Continually confounding the reader with its mainstream of childish glee and occasional lapses into precocious sophistication.

It is a brilliant expose of an education system that has now all but disappeared. A system geared towards corporal punishment and churning out illiterate fodder for the declining dockyards and factories of the industrial age.

The first impression of this book will be a Limited Edition of 300 hand stamped books distributed around the UK by being planted in unsuspecting bookshops.

If stocks no longer last - pop over to the Aquarium and see if any piles are still lying around ...

Mushed...

"Moshpit Donkey exist in the static created by too many incorrectly constructed Reaktor patches, linked through hacked sequencing mechanisms to erroneous Audio Mulch contraptions....."

They most certainly seem to have no real concept of compositional structure, adherence to basic musical tunings and appear to dig a somewhat uneven use of basic control of the volume/pan/effect sliders.......

The first offering from this somewhat easy-to-ignore bunch of musical no-names comes in the form of the ever-unfolding remix project - first unleashed upon the world courtesy of tha man called Kid Shirt .......

Apparantly it uses the entire track as produced by "LORD DEPTH MIXED BY THE COWARD MIXED BY FARMER GLITCH MIXED BY CyRUS DA VyRUS MIXED BY GUTTERBREAKZ MIXED BY DOPPELGANGER" - mangled into a fucked-up-electro riff - then layered with "LORD DEPTH MIXED BY THE COWARD" along with mutated output from a previous recording session spent in the delightful Queen Mary hospital, Pok Fulam, Hong Kong- whilst recovering from snake bites... oh yeah - demon sax player Andew Pask somehow gets a blow .... don't ask me man - I'm only relaying needless sleeve notes! The whole pointless exercise (apparently) was to get the mutated DNA of the original remix back in line from the numerous splintered/bastard strands that now exist - this it is fair to say it most likely fails miserably at achieving!!

Anyway - enough of this baloney - grab a download if you feel that way inclined ...

Moshpit Donkey - Mushed

Hana No Kage - Shadow of a Flower ...... comin at ya Bristol ..!

Reasons for the blogging slow-down - one of them being I am hitting the gigging trail again ....



Gig this Thursday - Arnolfini Bristol - a multi-media/epic-poem tredding in the footsteps of Matsuo Basho (as trodden by my mate Ralph Hoyte during 2005)..... I will be manning the sounds/lights and video whilst on the stage Ralph and Haruka will be reciting his tales of mis-adventure and rebirth !

Be cool to see those of you for which Zen Haiku texts and flashing lights and clanging/crashing noise excites (come on - I know there must be the odd odd-ball out there for which this is too good a gig to pass up - surely ?) ... The press release looks a little like this .....



More details of the Poetry Can - Bristol Poetry Festival can be found here.

Skate-a-Pat

Ultra-Uber-O-Glitch-Man ..... all 9 years of him - has been on an animation workshop at a local arts center type of place - as you send them off to do during the long drawn-out school hols - he came home proudly displaying his clay models and yesterday the finished DVD pops through the post - a deep study of rural life as seen through his eyes - enjoy - well cool it is too ...

HANATARASH

In the Farmers yard today - we are mostly listening to all things pre-Boredoms .... and you should too :







For those of you who found that all a bit frightening (light-weights) - why not pop a couple of black-bombers - and enjoy 'The Mad Hippy' trying to remember Stonehenge Festival 1984 .... "fuck-me I'm out of my head - everyone else is straight and they are LOOKING AT ME" - no what ya mean mate !!

Alive - Just - Swimming through a lake of stale Cider...

Title says it all - waist deep a of month-long cider bender ... anyone out there have a suitable non-narcotic-based withdrawal cure please pass it on ... meanwhile - howz this for nostalgia ?

Remixed Shirts ....

Well in reply to the previous post from our good man Mr. Shirt over here .... where we were presented with the Coward remix along with some archive classics - I took two dang tracks ... none other than Lord Depth and Death of Rave - stuck them in the wash on program 5 (natch) - colours sort of ran a tad - could do with a bloody good iron I suspect - and I am sure no thrift shop would touch it with a barge-pole - but anyhows - here ya go ... a brand new shirt .....

Kid Shirt - Lord Death Rave(FG Bulb Mix)

Busy ..

Been a tad busy for blogging - so to continue the theme of the previous post and to establish life still exists here - take this new vid from yet again the mighty Fall - this time they all seem to have all dropped a couple Es, hired upstairs of a pub - digi cam and produced a corker of a video ... someday all pop promos will be made this way ....

Freakin Shit... MES in underpants ...

To state that Mark E Smith is currently on blistering form would be a total understatement ..... mid-way through writing a post covering the past 12 months re-for-mation of the mighty FALL - listening to the gig from last week at the Oxford Zodiac as we speak with perhaps the most mind-slashing version of Blindness yet put to task - and whats this - yes-oh-yes - they even drag out a version of Big Prinz - what next a garage version of Rowche Rumble would not ine the least suprise ... anyhows ... that post is on-hold to make way for this babe instead ... to qoute the press-release ..

"Von Sudenfed are Mark E. Smith and Mouse on Mars, and this is the First single to be taken from album 'Tromatic Reflexxions', out May / June 2007."

and very nice it all sounds too ...

Yeovil City Rollers .....

Well bugger me - 600 mid-aged-gals/grannies storm top Yeovil night-spot to see - Bay City Rollers - nope - not a headline from 1973 - but just to prove we have not lost the capability down here in the South West to lead the way in modern-gig-promotion - we have roller-mania hitting Yeovil again - in 2007 - friggin eck - anyone would think Punk never happened !



Whilst the rest of you lot out here think rollers - refer to those bubbling dnb bass-lines and fret about the mainstreaming of dubstep - us down here in the sticks have more important things to worry about - like what is better - My Shangalang or how to keep the tartan flares nice and gleaming ... or as Nick Lowe would put it .... "Derick, Alan and Eric we love you .... Lez and Woodie do you feel the same way too - BAY CITY ROLLER WE LOVE YOU..." - fuck man - got me rockin now - SHANGALANG SHANGALANG SHANGALANG .... YEAHHHH



God - takes me right back baby - way down memory lane - woosh - here we are Johnson Hall (as twas) - April 2nd, 1975 - the fog clears - to reveal me - knee hight to a grass hopper - a hopp-bopp-a-loo-poop a-lang-alanga - down the front - head-down no-noncense-boogy to none other than MUD - my first ever gig - and man - did they rock (Tell me - did they - I actually have no idea) - but I do still have the program - and here it is ....



Crist the junk people keep hey - apparantly they were supported by some lot called 'Together' - who again - apparantly won New Faces - and were once praised by ... Mickie Most - howz that for name dropping ... anyhows - Mud most likely sounded something like this - the absolute slamming .... TIGER FEET - thats right - thats right - thats right ... !!

The Hawk Lords - we salute you ..

Bleedin heck - what a cool hour or so of BBC4 excellence last night - makes me almost rush out and buy a license ... let me just say it hear and now for all to witness - I BLEEDIN WELL LOVE HAWKWIND !!!! phew - got that off me chest - loved the vintage clips of the Stonehenge gigs - sort of took me right back there - apart from the fact I was so out of me-bleedin-gord during the festivala - I am not really sure if that is a good idea ..

Anyhows - hot on the tails of that supa-hippy-bio-drama - comes news of another bunch of long-hairs on the gig-trail - yep none other than ... HERE AND NOW ...



The first gig with new drummer MERV, of Eat Static & Ozric Tentacles fame, who joins forces with JOIE HINTON (also Eat Static/Ozric Tentacles), STEFFE SHARPSTRINGS and KEITH "LE MISSILE" BASS, to complete the line-up. With DJ sets from STEFFE and MERV. Advance tickets available from Glastonbury Assembly Rooms - book early to avoid disappointment!

Fri 20 Apr - UK, Glastonbury, Assembly Rooms - HERE & NOW

You up for this Mr. Shirt ?

Too much time ..

Damn - it had to happen - so here I am Saturday morning in the DubStep room - Secondlife stylee - man I need to gt out more !! Come down and join me sometime ...

About bloody time I say ...

If like me you are sick to the gills with yet another exhibition of navel-gazing pseudo-intellectual-tosh - full of the same-old-same-old pre-show faces - attending under the pretext of networking - but more likely than not to snag the free booze and cheesey-pineapple-stick treats ... poor old art-sorts - never enough money to buy a round - or run a hot bath - if only the ACE would cough up more etc etc etc - ad nauseum ... well here ya go - a show for you all to exhibit at ... no funding needed - almost nothing rejected - and you even get a hefty percentage if the stuff sells ... all sounds good to me ....



More info as always here ..

Vibration Institutue - Volume 1

Shameless self-promotion - if you happen to be in Miami then pop on down and check John von spinning a well spaced out set of ambient drones and assorted broken and fucked up artifacts, I would of course be there myself - but I am too busy milking cows, chewing grass and talking crap ! ....

more on the release and label details here - Vibration Institute

Degeneration Punk...

Kindly uploaded to Youtube - thanks Negrau .... a rather cool retro look at all things now terned punk - with a nice selection of all the usual suspects - jolly good to see and hear Mark Perry back in the day - and a nice load of vintage New York types - including some classic Richard Hell and the Voidoids - esp for St. Anthony ..

Enjoy ...

Parts 1 and 2


Parts 3 and 4


Parts 5 and 6


Parts 7 and 8

Call for Elephant or Maker of an Elephant

This just in from the always classic Arts Jobs list-server ... well being someone who works with sound - anyone got anything out there that sounds like a 'specific turquise colored elephant ?' - wonder if the Das Boat from the new Fall platter might suffice ?

Anyhows - call out .....

"This is a very urgent call out. we are looking for a very big carnival type elephant, we are going to be comissioning an artist to make one unless anyone out there already has one. The elephant needs to be operated by 2 people and will only be used once so won't need to last for years and years! it needs to be in a fairly cartoonish style and
will need to be coloured in a specific turquoise coulour (we are happy to do this, however it needs to be done). Please if you are interested get in touch by the end of Wednesday 28th."

Singapore Babe Cyber Enemies ...

Having spent a significant time in the land of 'Ok Lah..' - the place still never ceases to surprise me - at times totally infuriating - others a complete gem of a place - and as anyone will tell ya - the food and night life certainly are pretty damn hard to beat throughout the rest of South East Asia ..... once the laughing stock of the planet though nanny-government banning-tactics - it now is a pretty damn funky town ..

So funky in fact that they have manage to throw up a bundle of cyber-babe-bloggers - all out for the prime - numero-uno-singa-blogger-party-crown - only one will manage to grab the title - any one bothered ??

If so - I give ya ......:

• in the Hello Kitty' corner - all in pink with fake lashes - and oh-so-bitchy-bitch-lah - XueXue
  
  
• in the moral high-ground corner Mia Tan
  
  
• and finally - in the leather, venus-n-furs - bondage and whips and perhaps much much more corner - Ms Izzy (aka Singapore Party Girl)
  

As they say in 'We Love Katamari' - FIGHT FIGHT ...

Let the cider-guzzling freak-out resume ..

That time of the year again - where we all descend to some beer-sodden dive and face the barrage of disjointed riddims and barked grunts all mixed with total abandon into a totally pleasing always somewhat unexpected throbbing mesh ... yes THE MIGHTY FALL yet again roll into town - this time Exeter Phoenix on the 27th March - sure to see the rest of ya west-country saddos in the mosh-pit !

So on that note I have here beside me a very recent recording of said band - thrashing out material from the long-awaited new slab-of-vinyl - live from 'Malaga AndalucÌa Spain 21.01.2007'

- and boy - are they a well-greased set of psych-out-well-oiled-coggs - so much so that it could almost be early 70's and here we are down the front listening to Space-Ritual era Hawkwind



man - there is stuff this band is doing that once upon-a-time would have seen them all fined/sacked and no doubt verbally and physically abused, giving reason to proceed with legal retribution against he that is MES....

It's all in there - squealing fuzzed out guitar-solos, white-noise acid-induced synth-lines - god - even key-changes ... now don't get me wrong - this is all damn bleedin fine in this household - ya see I am an old saddo who used to wade through muddy fields - stand in puring rain - at festivals tripping me gord out to the Hawk-fellows and associated mushroom-eaters ... Still have a massive soft-spot for Nik Turners Inner City Unit - a lovely merging of psychedelic-punk-rockabilly mashing ---- so here ya go - the new Fall sound - as usual - completely different - but somehow exactly the same - lovely stuff or what !!

The Fall - Fall Sound (live 21/01/2007 Malaga Spain)


So there I was grooving out to the above - when it leads to a sudden urge to hear - the real-stuff - ya know the 1970s tripped-out-flying-teapot-gnome-out-experience ... so I dig deep into me box of mouldy-old-bootlegs for some GONG ... now there were a bunch who knew how to trip out - yes for sure - and what better place to go than a 1974 performance from Rotterdam - featuring the drumming talents of none-other than Bill Bruford - man that should satisfy my need to seriously wiggout - shake me locks - and basically LET-IT-ALL-OUT .. so I slap the tape into the player - fast-forward to the track that is Flying Teapot and hit PLAY - but man-oh-man - what the fuck is this - another quantum-leap - for Gong seem to have somehow been lifted into outerspace on the Mothership and via Bootsy Collins and the boyz - have morphed into somekind of pre-Studio 54 disco-sluts - OK it has been years since I listened to this stuff - but frig - did they always have the funk ? now I know I have on the shelf here a vinyl original of 'Camembert Electruque' and last time I checked it was all elfish-folk-acid-doodlings - so what gives ... makes me damned scared to grab some old Funkadelic album should they suddenly have morphed into the Bay City Rollers ! Anyhows - judge the funk-nuggets for your self - and geddon-down to a blistering knee-trembling blast ::

Gong - Flying Teapot (Rotterdam 1974)

Some free DCL from CHAW CHAW..

Not too sure how she has managed it - but from Manila - Philippines all the way to you via blog land - Ms. Chaw Chaw provides instant downloads to a bunch of our music from a few years back - now this stuff has never been stuck out on a commercial release before (most of it having only appeared via some licensing etc ... - so hats off for managing to find all this stuff - shame half the tracks have the wrong names - but whatever ..!!

Feel free to click on the picture below of Villa Escudero (where Philippine culture and history comes to life) - for some free Digital Cutup Lounge tunez ....



Or for more immediate streaming of the whole playlist via iTunez or some-other device - simply click on the photo of the 'SHARP ES-6515TS 6.5 Kg. Babad Magic' washing machine - complete with 1 Box free of Ariel powder soap and Iron (Micromatic) that she recently bought -

NICE .....

Sound of a 1200 year old Tang Dynasty guqin.

Damn man - very very nice indeed ! The one instrument I wish I had started learning 10 years agao when I had the chance and teacher - stupidly I stuck with the bloody guitar and computer tech ....

click the pic for a jolly nice performance ...

godda get my candi free....

"sugar me my baby .. sugar me ...."

and why not we all say here in the glitch outback ..

Artist - get a bleedin job will yah - and stop yer goddam moaning ...

Patti Smith tells it exactly as it is in yesterdays Guardian ...

"You get people who say, 'The government won't give me a grant and I can't do my art.' I say, 'Fuck you, it's your own fault, you expect the government to give you a hand? The government is corrupt. Do what it takes. You do babysitting jobs, you work in the factory, you work in the bookstore or become a pickpocket, y'know? But whatever. Get a job.' Work is really good for an artist."

Now I know it might sound like asking you starving/needy artists to walk on a bed of nails or stick your head though a plate-glass window, but please - stop winging about the lack of funding from the Arts Council - stop all that intellectualizing twaddle - put down your pens - stop sitting around moaning about how hard the application forms are - and either get a job, rob a band - or STOP-NOW - thanks !

phew - glad I got that off me chest this morning - now where did I put the remote control and that bag of weed ?

Only After Dark ...

All this Spizz Oil talk over at the Kids found me this recommendation from none other than Spizz himself - man - Japanese Mick Ronson tribute band - what the hell more can you ask for this freezing Friday morning - and Only After Dark to boot - so a return video offering for yah Kek - enjoy: