godda get my candi free....

"sugar me my baby .. sugar me ...."

and why not we all say here in the glitch outback ..

Artist - get a bleedin job will yah - and stop yer goddam moaning ...

Patti Smith tells it exactly as it is in yesterdays Guardian ...

"You get people who say, 'The government won't give me a grant and I can't do my art.' I say, 'Fuck you, it's your own fault, you expect the government to give you a hand? The government is corrupt. Do what it takes. You do babysitting jobs, you work in the factory, you work in the bookstore or become a pickpocket, y'know? But whatever. Get a job.' Work is really good for an artist."

Now I know it might sound like asking you starving/needy artists to walk on a bed of nails or stick your head though a plate-glass window, but please - stop winging about the lack of funding from the Arts Council - stop all that intellectualizing twaddle - put down your pens - stop sitting around moaning about how hard the application forms are - and either get a job, rob a band - or STOP-NOW - thanks !

phew - glad I got that off me chest this morning - now where did I put the remote control and that bag of weed ?

Only After Dark ...

All this Spizz Oil talk over at the Kids found me this recommendation from none other than Spizz himself - man - Japanese Mick Ronson tribute band - what the hell more can you ask for this freezing Friday morning - and Only After Dark to boot - so a return video offering for yah Kek - enjoy:

Minehead Butlins - Stumbling Drunk Underpants and Noise.

Full review on a blow by blow basis in the pipeline - but for a taster of what at ATP 2006 at Butlins Minehead pipped my cotton socks clean-off ... one of the certain highlights for sure ... here ya go : Mats Gustaffson & EYE Yamataka - making a damn fine glorious racket - love this stuff !!



If only the Haters had managed the same !

$500 bottle of wine....

A $500 dollar bottle of wine
That's all I get man most of the time.

We been through the desert
Went through their last shirts
And all the lightning and crime
A half-filled bottle of wine.

They're all fat gits and they get on our tits
They're all fat gits and they get on our tits

That's all you get most of the time
For all the life in crime
The 500 bottle of wine

What is the man on about now - look mate don't ask me - I'm just the messenger - and today I bring you news of a real bargain-basement piece of 12-inch plastic - currently up for bids on that global car-boot of a place - which for brevity shall we simply call ebay ? OK ... Yes - it would seem that this bargain basement disk has finally made it to the sale-room ...



Bought for 70 cents in a Chelsea New York boot-sale only to find it being the long-lost forgotten, somewhat moth-eaten, sounding exactly how the

Andy Warhol Wig-Out-Exlploding Cod-Piece

apparently meant it to sound (yeah right) - somewhat scratched - very hissy - yep - the very first Velvet Underground LP - but with different recordings and mixes of all songs - on 40 year-old Acetate vinyl (which basically means - you play the thing - the thing will fall to bits) ... woop - yep get ready to place those bids .. this morning when I found it for sale it was still reasonably cheap at a mere 25,000 bucks - but man - with 6 days still to go and the price now already at 36,000 bucks - I suggest a reserve upper bid closer to the 100K mark to secure it ...

For those of you not quite sitting there with those sort of readies - then as it is nearly crimbo time - here ya go - 3 of the tracks from the Farmer - from the acetate - straight down the supa-higwhay-infobahn to YOU ... your welcome ... for the rest of you with a neat-100K to blow - go and bid here.

Velvet Underground - Heroin (1966 acetate)
Completely different take than released version. Guitar line is different. Vocal inflections different, and a few different lyrics. Drumming is more primitive & off kilter. There is a tambourine dragging throughout the song.

Velvet Underground - Waiting for the man (acetate)
Different take than released version. Guitar line is completely different. Vocal inflections different, and a few different lyrics. No drums, just tambourine. Bluesy guitar solo.

Velvet Underground - Venus in Furs (acetate)
Different take than released version. Vocal inflections completely different. Instrumentation more based around Cales' violin than the guitar as in the released version.

1969 OK .....

Well as me Tha Kid, Flinty and Bren are in preparation state for the All Tomorrows Parties 3 day bender in Butlins Minehead (would you believe it) - and as the closing act for the thang will be a stonking Iggy and the Stooges set - why not remember that glorious year of 1969 ... me, ma-n-pop and Debs Glitch were living in sunny Georgia US of A (bless them all I tell yah) - and we drove around in a bright shiny red (with jet-black roof brand-new and certainly spanking 1969 Dodge Charger - bought for a cool 3500 bucks according to the extremly crisp memory-cells of Pa-Glitch .. the following photo is a scan from the actual user-manual - damn shame he never kept the vehicle....



Man were we a cool sun in our hair cruising the highway bunch of expats - I actually have a pic of me posing in US Scouts uniform standing by the tail-fender (god look at me talking all 'merican maaan) - but I am just to damn shy to post it ..

This post is linked directly to recent talks of all things 4-wheel-drive and gaz-guzzling as presented by Niowulf whilst cyber-squatting Doms blog ...

Glitched on the slow train to Plymouth ..

Have Mac - will knock out Ultraman Glitch (great grand-son of Dyna and godfather of Tiga) to while away the 1.20 minutes (before the battery on these crap Powerbooks give up ..



Next - Godzilla vs Hammy Hamster in the Great Death Match under the River Parrot ...

Happy B-day ..

.... to you J-glitch - one today and supa-cute with it ... from the Farmer and Ultra-O_and_Z-glitch ...

Moshpit Donkey ..

Band looking for :::: ????

Tell us what you have - and you are in ....

Gigs / studio / groupies / international jet-set / bags of nose-candy ... in the bag ..

Musical styles - minimalglitchneofolkpschsteppedupdubshit..... the only beat that matters is the one that is missing !

please - no 4-on-da-floor abusers need apply ..

I WEAR A Zoot (and quite like a toot) !!

The Hong Kong muzak scene has been in decline for years (DISCUSS) - nah - no need to do that for it is saved - now we all know that accountants have always dictated what labels released and promoted - but they are no longer content with simply controlling the cash - now they too want the rewards that being the STAR gives yah (you know the stuff - unlimited piles of coke - disturbing amounts of bizarre sexual activities - well at least thats what the esteemed members of DCL get up to!) - so here ya go - Hong Kong Accountants - they dance, they rap - they be tha boyz !! Now did I ever post anything on that other HK Rap lot - Lazy Mutha Fuckas - maybe next time ..

Square Head John

This is my friend John - in homage to his dub-bass-vibes here is Java Browser Crasher number 2 - Square Head John .. again move-ya-kursa around inside the thang - click and see what appens to his mr.cubic....



Another in a continuing series of "Farmer Glith - watch as he learns more tricks and licks in the murky world of interactive Java (or FG a sad and sorry pasty-faced-programming-oik - YOU DECIDE..."

Java applets - hell yeah ..

Experiments in crashing your browser ... part 1

Now archived to make room for Experiments with Johns Square Head (see above) ..

So click on the image below to open-a-pop-up ... and then ................

Click around or move-ya-cursor inside the thang - now ain't that the shit - or what ??



Farmer Glitch - available for java-coding - crashing browserss my speciality ...

Fuzzed Out and Czech ....

Remote Sunday DJing for Kid Shirt ..



nicely mixed into this one .... nothing like some scanty-clad boogie in this house !!

yum ...

"They cant play baseball
They don't wear sweaters
They are not good dancers
They don't play drums ...."


Chatting with Bren on the phone this evening - trying to persuade him to join me Kid Shirt and Flinty for the Stooges/Sonic Youth/Wolf eyes/Gang of four etc etc (ok kek I know I should also bigggupp Sunburned Hand of the Man) extravaganza down at Butlins Minehead this xmas - and as happens the conversation drifted onto the urgent need for me to digitize the rather large stack of assorted goodies currently held on my aging Betamax Video collection ...

I am the rather dubious (nah make that proud or indeed as some around these parts have indicated - proudly dubious!) owner of this ....



What a stack of tech-porn or what - yep they separate - can be swung over your shoulder - and hooked up to the optional huge battery pack - become a mobile recording unit - eat yer hearts out all you namby pamby newbie DV Cam users - ya ain't;t lived till you tried taking this babe on a 6 month over-land docu-trip across India - trust me !

Anyhows - talk drifted to the more family-tilted material sitting on my slowly decaying tapes - and we were transported back to the heady days of 1979 and the Old grey Whistle test - and of course the most vital rock video to ever have been committed to tape (after Knowing Me Knowing You - by those alt-rockers A.B.B.A) - which is Fish Head Fish Heads - by Barnes and Barnes - a true classic of neo-romanticism prose addressing that long sufferred feeling of longing for severed rotting heads (when not thinking what a damn good soup they might make that is !) ...

Anyhows - as is the case these days with the worlds slackers - out slacking even me - some fine sould have obviously already done the dirty digi-deeds - so come on boys - n - gals - "Eat them up --- YUM ..."

Bomb them ALL ...

"THIS IS A SCARY STAMP.... This is a stamp of our times, a terror stamp for the 21st Century, a climate of fear stamp, a stamp that pisses on all other stamps, a stamp that will appeal to all, one stamp to rule them all... except there are 2."



More such suchness over at Scorpion Thunderbolt Deliverance Incorporated .....

Tranquility Base ..

Well back from a rather enjoyable 2 days in Leicester - Thursday early evening found me at the opening of the show in the New Walk Museum - laying down noise surrounded by Francis Bacon paintings and with an audiance made up of Chinese officials and the Lord Mayor - then on to a late night session at OK Kareoke - a quite different breed of punter and surroundings - based above a take-away in a somewhat dodgy down-town location - with a vibe reminsicent of seedy triad bars in Wan Chai/Tsim Sha Tsoi - the crowd more intersted in belting out somewhat less than tuneful Maddonna/Prince covers whilst playing that shakey-shakey Hong Kong dice-game they all know and love ... I ended up playing an hour of banging beats (what else is one to do) whilst slouched on a couch - slurping £2.50 boittles of beer ...

After that there was nothing more to do than enroll as an astranaut and begin immediate training prio to my impending launch into outer-space - needless to say being a fully qualified tractor driver - I passed with meddles and a well needed Masala Dosa ..

The sound of Rice ..

Just put the finishing touches to a sound piece for an exhibition currently on at: Leicester New Walk Museum, 53 New Walk, Leicester LE1 7EA. Working with visual artist Suki Chan for stage 3 of her Story of Rice shows ..

A taster of the sound for ya here.

BBC Leicester page of the show and various links here.

If you are in the area on Thursday night (7th Spetember) - pop on over for the opening - I shall be spinning assorted sounds in at the reception - and then later pumping up the glitch-dub-funk-drones at the aptly named OK Kareoke Club ....

Pain in tha paris ..

Wing Ding....

Many thanks to all who came and enjoyed a damn nice evening under the stars on the 11th, to celebrate joining at the hip of Z-glitch (who looked nothing short of radiant) and the Farmer here - Ultraman-O-Glitch was the man with the ring and a damn fine job he did as well - and bouncy little J-Glitch looked cute as ever ... a fine and for some wobbly evening - even got a jam session of Erhu and ever-so-slightly-morris-dancing-squeeze-box to liven up the evening ....

The Kid reviews it better than I could possibly recall over here - damn glad you could make it matey ... and yep magic ciggies with the inlaws - way to go hey !!

Ignore all previous instructions .. Life Stinks ..

Well that post on the best 12 inch record of the 1970's was a complete and total load of bollocks I say - sure Beyond Good and evil is good in that quirky Bristol-boys play da jerky-funk stylee - but then I got to thinking - does it really stand up against the monolith that is DATAPANIK IN THE YEAR ZERO ?



Got this record in Kings Road back in 1978 - remember strolling into some dive of a shop and falling out the door a while later with a copy of the above pink 12 incher along with a copy of the first album proper 'The Modern Dance' - on Blank Records (Serial number 001) - how bloody good a day of record buying is that !! The Modern Dance LP to this day stands out as one of the most listened pieces of plastic on the shelves here - and despite what could indeed be thousands of spins still remains in A1 condition - I love this stuff man !

So how fackin cool is this then - from a mere 4 days ago - Rocket From The Tombs playing live in Cambridge, MA - present a slammin version of 30 Seconds over Tokyo - what more could anyone ask for on a drizzly Thursday morning huh ?

China Robots..

Tactooloo (est le robot-tactile) !


Mouse


Waiter ..


Babe Magnet ..


Cop ...


Rickshaw ..


Dalek ..

The best 12" of the 70's...

Fuckit I say - caution to the wind - be damned ... with all these old photos and posters from the 70's being trawled through over here right now - nice to stumble upon the following video - to accompany the best slab of sounds on a 12 inch slab of plastic from the closing wheezes of the decade ...

Produced by Dennis Bovell - released on Radar - damn fine sleeve art - and a b-side to die for ... argue with all of that if ya dare ::::

T.R.I.P.....