TEN RECORDS HIDING AT THE BACK OF YOUR COLLECTION THAT NO GROWN MAN SHOULD OWN

Having been passed the baton by Mr. Shirt - and being forced to delve into those boxes of unseen 7 inchers to remind myself of what utter classic embarrassing crud I have bought in my time - I somehow have managed to get it all down to 10 - to be honest this could have run to 100s !!

So here goes ..



"Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum, Mouldy Old Dough" - utter classic - without this punk/hip-hop and death metal would never have happened ....



"nice on Cyril, Nice on son, Nice one Cyril - lets 'ave another one" - deep stuff or what .....



No idea how the heck this thing got to be in my collection - I would love to say I got it from a pile plastic my sister once gave me - but - that is my hand-writing - so I got to admit - IT's MINE (god been meaning to get that of my chest for 3 decades - phew)..



I was young - on a camping holiday to France with the scouts - hung out with some french girl-guides in some provincial town - and ended up buying this - memories hey - the other disk I got that day was Status Quo - Rain, but nothing embarrassing about that - this however is totally unforgivable !



Used to play in a band at school with Mark Wilson and Graham Fallows, this was one of the tracks we played back then - first gig being in Stoke-sub-Hamdon Working Mens Club (1975 or 1976) - how rock-n-roll is that - Mark and Graham went onto somewhat more serious stuff via The Mob - but at the early routes of the Anarcho-Punk movement lurks a dreamy lament on the joys of Sunday Morning (up with the lark - no less) ....



Elkie Brooks - Pearls a Singer - Fucking magic - there - said it - not going to take it back - so there ....



Everything punk was meant to burn and destroy - but lets face it - this one simply rocks ... how uncool is that ...



I have more than one bit of plastic from mr.pedo-pop - but this must be the most hideous of them all .... say no more squire ..



Cat Scratch Fever - Apart from this killer guitar riff - is there anything even slightly cool about Ted ? Now where did I put that bloody rifle ?



1967 - when the rest of the world were getting it on with chemical-altering-mind-explorations - us down here in ZUMMERZET were wrecking our physical-well being with glasses full of the golden-stuff. This must be the Sergent Peppers for the Cider generation - Forget all that Grateful Dead/Merry Pranksters kool-aid-acid-pap, simply pour your self a mug of body-numbing-messed-aound-with-apple-stuff - crank the volume to 10, - drop the needle onto "The Chew Magna Cha Cha" - and float right out there man - trust me - by the time you get the nerve to stick on the classic - "Drink up thy Cider" - you'll be tripping so damn hard - it'll be weeks before you can face looking at a farmer again - without getting the FEAR ... CLASSIC ...

Those cheap bastard British Airways snobs ...uuuhhh

Some incorrect things ... cheap magazines ...... recruited some gremlins ..... stuffing from my wings ---- day by day - moon gains on me ..... for 145 years ... US civil war - Irish patronage... moon gains on me .....

HIT A TIME LOCK ...shot dead a stupid sergeant - hit a time lock ... no longer exists ... under the bridge ...... lucky hit ...

HIT A TIME LOCK ...

2008

The Fall - Wings (Athens 2008)....


and for good measure

The Fall - NO XMAS FOR John Queys (2007) ...

WTF - you look back bores !!

SOISONG

Enjoying the output from Sleazy in his new Soi band - hailing these days form Bangkok - a mayor-hectic town of lights/smells/and-whatever-you-fancy - Peter has decampted there since the untimely demise of Coil and this is very much welcomed to these ears ..

I have spent many a screwed up period over the past 20 years in this town - always love the idea of going - can't wait to leave after a couple of days - bit like amsterdam - but with a lime-twist-and-a-shot-tom-yum-kung.... always felt like an escape portal to the southern Islands of Koh Samui and Koh Pann Ghan ... I am totally guilty of wasting almost a year doing nada in these parts in one take - and exhausted/deflated/defeated - upon returning to blighty - took a further year to sort it all out man .... - but heck - I was young(er) and ya got to do that shit right ?

Anyhows - a peek preview - SOISONG

Press release via Brainwasher here ...

Guitar - Solo

One day - BY LAW - all guitar solos will sound like this ... lets face it - I have played numerous gigs - and with my trusty lap-top - never got euphoric reaction like this - fuck knows why ??

Jesus of Cool

Totally loved this when it came out - played the baby to death - 12 inch glory of a disk sitting on the shelf over there - about to be spun up NOW - Breaking Glass - lets face it - is there a better pop song out here ? probably - but who here is counting - Nick Lowe rocks - re-issue of Jesus of Cool is surely a very good thing??

Related (Nick is playing the Bass) - here is some 3 minute joy - Rockpile - lovvly ...



nice for sure - lets admit it - no guilt please for liking POP - I do - and so should you ...

Live and loose - just how we like it ....



and well I know this is sort of a music type of post - important to categorize that sort of stuff man!!! - but you know - stepping out of the safety zone man ....

Cassini-Huygens - Descent on Titan

One day all music will by ORDER OF LAW be made this way !!

"Sounds from a left speaker trace Huygens' motion, with tones changing with rotational speed and the tilt of the parachute. There also are clicks that clock the rotational counter, as well as sounds for the probe's heat shield hitting Titan's atmosphere, parachute deployments, heat shield release, jettison of the camera cover and touchdown."

"Sounds from a right speaker go with the Descent Imager/Spectral Radiometer activity. There's a continuous tone that represents the strength of Huygens' signal to Cassini. Then there are 13 different chimes - one for each of instrument's 13 different science parts - that keep time with flashing-white-dot exposure counters. During its descent, the Descent Imager/Spectral Radiometer took 3,500 exposures."

An alchemic bath of swirling Dionysian liquidity - DAMN IT !!!!

Phew - that was 2 or more months that was - and now back - with a homemade Hindi classic by my poetic-angled mate Ralph..

'appy new-year' to yah ..

Torturing Nurse.

The China noise scene seriously getting its act together these days - always had a soft spot for Torturing Nurse - lets face it any time you combine nurses uniforms and head-crunching slabs of sound - you can't fail to please... seems with the latest slab of videos from recent perfomance in Beijing - they have somewhat upped-the-old-ante... dispensing with any traditional family values that might have littered earlier performances - and allowing afore-mentioned nurse to dispense somewhat unorthodox treatment to what can only be described as a tied and willing patient - it makes for interesting viewing - and somewhat raucous listening ...



If this sort of thing makes you feel like more - then best get your prescriptions directly from the source... or the ever excellent Noise Shanghai site...



For those of you who find the whole dripping wax on face type of behavior a tad harrowing - here is a more family-friendly TN performance from way back in 2004 - for you younger and more sheltered readers out there - because I care ....!!

the idiocy of idears

Been meaning to post this one for ages - probably all copies have already been grabbed - but for those of you in the Yeovil area - hop on down to Waterstones and see if you can find a copy in the Poetry, Art, or Philosophy sections - stick it under your jacket - and if stopped and searched - tell them the Farmer sent you !

FREE BOOK, NO ISBN, NO BARCODE, NO AUTHOR

the idiocy of idears

“a skool boys tail being the unremarkable adventures of gustov claudius, skool boy and dyslexic. Including his own essays, observations, and judgements. Also including an account of his travels among the islands of homer and the greeks. ritten by himself-“

Apparently written by the backward schoolboy Gustav Claudius. ‘The Idiocy of Idears’ is a book of pathos, sarcasm and great charm. Continually confounding the reader with its mainstream of childish glee and occasional lapses into precocious sophistication.

It is a brilliant expose of an education system that has now all but disappeared. A system geared towards corporal punishment and churning out illiterate fodder for the declining dockyards and factories of the industrial age.

The first impression of this book will be a Limited Edition of 300 hand stamped books distributed around the UK by being planted in unsuspecting bookshops.

If stocks no longer last - pop over to the Aquarium and see if any piles are still lying around ...

Mushed...

"Moshpit Donkey exist in the static created by too many incorrectly constructed Reaktor patches, linked through hacked sequencing mechanisms to erroneous Audio Mulch contraptions....."

They most certainly seem to have no real concept of compositional structure, adherence to basic musical tunings and appear to dig a somewhat uneven use of basic control of the volume/pan/effect sliders.......

The first offering from this somewhat easy-to-ignore bunch of musical no-names comes in the form of the ever-unfolding remix project - first unleashed upon the world courtesy of tha man called Kid Shirt .......

Apparantly it uses the entire track as produced by "LORD DEPTH MIXED BY THE COWARD MIXED BY FARMER GLITCH MIXED BY CyRUS DA VyRUS MIXED BY GUTTERBREAKZ MIXED BY DOPPELGANGER" - mangled into a fucked-up-electro riff - then layered with "LORD DEPTH MIXED BY THE COWARD" along with mutated output from a previous recording session spent in the delightful Queen Mary hospital, Pok Fulam, Hong Kong- whilst recovering from snake bites... oh yeah - demon sax player Andew Pask somehow gets a blow .... don't ask me man - I'm only relaying needless sleeve notes! The whole pointless exercise (apparently) was to get the mutated DNA of the original remix back in line from the numerous splintered/bastard strands that now exist - this it is fair to say it most likely fails miserably at achieving!!

Anyway - enough of this baloney - grab a download if you feel that way inclined ...

Moshpit Donkey - Mushed

Hana No Kage - Shadow of a Flower ...... comin at ya Bristol ..!

Reasons for the blogging slow-down - one of them being I am hitting the gigging trail again ....



Gig this Thursday - Arnolfini Bristol - a multi-media/epic-poem tredding in the footsteps of Matsuo Basho (as trodden by my mate Ralph Hoyte during 2005)..... I will be manning the sounds/lights and video whilst on the stage Ralph and Haruka will be reciting his tales of mis-adventure and rebirth !

Be cool to see those of you for which Zen Haiku texts and flashing lights and clanging/crashing noise excites (come on - I know there must be the odd odd-ball out there for which this is too good a gig to pass up - surely ?) ... The press release looks a little like this .....



More details of the Poetry Can - Bristol Poetry Festival can be found here.

Skate-a-Pat

Ultra-Uber-O-Glitch-Man ..... all 9 years of him - has been on an animation workshop at a local arts center type of place - as you send them off to do during the long drawn-out school hols - he came home proudly displaying his clay models and yesterday the finished DVD pops through the post - a deep study of rural life as seen through his eyes - enjoy - well cool it is too ...

HANATARASH

In the Farmers yard today - we are mostly listening to all things pre-Boredoms .... and you should too :







For those of you who found that all a bit frightening (light-weights) - why not pop a couple of black-bombers - and enjoy 'The Mad Hippy' trying to remember Stonehenge Festival 1984 .... "fuck-me I'm out of my head - everyone else is straight and they are LOOKING AT ME" - no what ya mean mate !!

Alive - Just - Swimming through a lake of stale Cider...

Title says it all - waist deep a of month-long cider bender ... anyone out there have a suitable non-narcotic-based withdrawal cure please pass it on ... meanwhile - howz this for nostalgia ?

Remixed Shirts ....

Well in reply to the previous post from our good man Mr. Shirt over here .... where we were presented with the Coward remix along with some archive classics - I took two dang tracks ... none other than Lord Depth and Death of Rave - stuck them in the wash on program 5 (natch) - colours sort of ran a tad - could do with a bloody good iron I suspect - and I am sure no thrift shop would touch it with a barge-pole - but anyhows - here ya go ... a brand new shirt .....

Kid Shirt - Lord Death Rave(FG Bulb Mix)

Busy ..

Been a tad busy for blogging - so to continue the theme of the previous post and to establish life still exists here - take this new vid from yet again the mighty Fall - this time they all seem to have all dropped a couple Es, hired upstairs of a pub - digi cam and produced a corker of a video ... someday all pop promos will be made this way ....

Freakin Shit... MES in underpants ...

To state that Mark E Smith is currently on blistering form would be a total understatement ..... mid-way through writing a post covering the past 12 months re-for-mation of the mighty FALL - listening to the gig from last week at the Oxford Zodiac as we speak with perhaps the most mind-slashing version of Blindness yet put to task - and whats this - yes-oh-yes - they even drag out a version of Big Prinz - what next a garage version of Rowche Rumble would not ine the least suprise ... anyhows ... that post is on-hold to make way for this babe instead ... to qoute the press-release ..

"Von Sudenfed are Mark E. Smith and Mouse on Mars, and this is the First single to be taken from album 'Tromatic Reflexxions', out May / June 2007."

and very nice it all sounds too ...

Yeovil City Rollers .....

Well bugger me - 600 mid-aged-gals/grannies storm top Yeovil night-spot to see - Bay City Rollers - nope - not a headline from 1973 - but just to prove we have not lost the capability down here in the South West to lead the way in modern-gig-promotion - we have roller-mania hitting Yeovil again - in 2007 - friggin eck - anyone would think Punk never happened !



Whilst the rest of you lot out here think rollers - refer to those bubbling dnb bass-lines and fret about the mainstreaming of dubstep - us down here in the sticks have more important things to worry about - like what is better - My Shangalang or how to keep the tartan flares nice and gleaming ... or as Nick Lowe would put it .... "Derick, Alan and Eric we love you .... Lez and Woodie do you feel the same way too - BAY CITY ROLLER WE LOVE YOU..." - fuck man - got me rockin now - SHANGALANG SHANGALANG SHANGALANG .... YEAHHHH



God - takes me right back baby - way down memory lane - woosh - here we are Johnson Hall (as twas) - April 2nd, 1975 - the fog clears - to reveal me - knee hight to a grass hopper - a hopp-bopp-a-loo-poop a-lang-alanga - down the front - head-down no-noncense-boogy to none other than MUD - my first ever gig - and man - did they rock (Tell me - did they - I actually have no idea) - but I do still have the program - and here it is ....



Crist the junk people keep hey - apparantly they were supported by some lot called 'Together' - who again - apparantly won New Faces - and were once praised by ... Mickie Most - howz that for name dropping ... anyhows - Mud most likely sounded something like this - the absolute slamming .... TIGER FEET - thats right - thats right - thats right ... !!

The Hawk Lords - we salute you ..

Bleedin heck - what a cool hour or so of BBC4 excellence last night - makes me almost rush out and buy a license ... let me just say it hear and now for all to witness - I BLEEDIN WELL LOVE HAWKWIND !!!! phew - got that off me chest - loved the vintage clips of the Stonehenge gigs - sort of took me right back there - apart from the fact I was so out of me-bleedin-gord during the festivala - I am not really sure if that is a good idea ..

Anyhows - hot on the tails of that supa-hippy-bio-drama - comes news of another bunch of long-hairs on the gig-trail - yep none other than ... HERE AND NOW ...



The first gig with new drummer MERV, of Eat Static & Ozric Tentacles fame, who joins forces with JOIE HINTON (also Eat Static/Ozric Tentacles), STEFFE SHARPSTRINGS and KEITH "LE MISSILE" BASS, to complete the line-up. With DJ sets from STEFFE and MERV. Advance tickets available from Glastonbury Assembly Rooms - book early to avoid disappointment!

Fri 20 Apr - UK, Glastonbury, Assembly Rooms - HERE & NOW

You up for this Mr. Shirt ?

Too much time ..

Damn - it had to happen - so here I am Saturday morning in the DubStep room - Secondlife stylee - man I need to gt out more !! Come down and join me sometime ...

About bloody time I say ...

If like me you are sick to the gills with yet another exhibition of navel-gazing pseudo-intellectual-tosh - full of the same-old-same-old pre-show faces - attending under the pretext of networking - but more likely than not to snag the free booze and cheesey-pineapple-stick treats ... poor old art-sorts - never enough money to buy a round - or run a hot bath - if only the ACE would cough up more etc etc etc - ad nauseum ... well here ya go - a show for you all to exhibit at ... no funding needed - almost nothing rejected - and you even get a hefty percentage if the stuff sells ... all sounds good to me ....



More info as always here ..

Vibration Institutue - Volume 1

Shameless self-promotion - if you happen to be in Miami then pop on down and check John von spinning a well spaced out set of ambient drones and assorted broken and fucked up artifacts, I would of course be there myself - but I am too busy milking cows, chewing grass and talking crap ! ....

more on the release and label details here - Vibration Institute

Degeneration Punk...

Kindly uploaded to Youtube - thanks Negrau .... a rather cool retro look at all things now terned punk - with a nice selection of all the usual suspects - jolly good to see and hear Mark Perry back in the day - and a nice load of vintage New York types - including some classic Richard Hell and the Voidoids - esp for St. Anthony ..

Enjoy ...

Parts 1 and 2


Parts 3 and 4


Parts 5 and 6


Parts 7 and 8